Saturday, October 4, 2014

You know you are pregnant when...

  • people you don't even know-and even those you do- comment on your weight, size, and body shape without the slightest inclination of what they are actually saying.  (i.e. "You're getting big!"  "You're having a boy right?  I could tell because all the weight is in the front.")
  • you almost cry when you are talking to your daughter about not biting mom in the stomach... because it hurts.
  • Heart Freaking Burn- all the time.
  • that event you've had on your calendar for weeks and even updated the night before?  You miss it.  Why?  Because you forgot.
  • soda always sounds good.  Until after, when you get heart burn from it.
  • you become skilled at picking things up with your toes so you don't have to bend over.
  • you go from drinking water to almost peeing your pants in 2 minutes.
  • you are constantly trying not to throw up or gag.
  • tired is an understatement.
  • you're pretty sure your lung got readjusted by a roundhouse kick... because it's completely possible to readjust lungs people.
Don't worry, there are some good things too:
  • you don't have your period!
  • people generally try to be nicer to you (let you take their seats when there aren't any or offer to help lift things)
  •  you think you're saving money because you don't have to pay for birth control. (but actually you're spending more money on those ice cream bars)