Monday, December 30, 2013

Let's Just pretend it hasn't been over 3 months...

Guys, we are on our third round of sickness this winter.  THIRD!  I get being sick once, it happens.  But why has my and my children's bodies not learned to just keep the darn antibodies on guard at all times?  You get a week of "sweet everyone is feeling better" and then the fevers and runny noses and coughs start.  It's just annoying.

I ran my first half marathon a couple weeks ago.  It felt so great.  Especially since after Kate was born I started out barely being able to run a mile.  I had this little desire to run a marathon... and after the half marathon decided that I no longer have that desire.  I really admire those that do but it would take my body a long time to get to the point where it wouldn't break under that distance.  And I just don't like running that much.  I like running for about an hour then it's just not enjoyable after that. 

Henry is potty trained! Hallelujah (side note- I should really learn how to spell that word because I say it pretty frequently and always have to auto correct it).  It happened a week before his 3rd birthday.  Enough of his friends (mostly younger than him) had already been trained.  So, that peer pressure, the stars being aligned, my frustration with changing diapers- there's a difference between baby poop and real people poop.  He was pooping real people stuff and that's just nasty- and him finally being ready made it all happen.  He's mostly trained through the night too.  Whenever I let him drink water before he goes to bed I always regret it!  We still remind him to go often because he'd rather dance for 45 minutes trying to hold it then just go right away.  It's like, duh, if you go now you'll be more comfortable.  But he doesn't get it I guess.  Whatevs.  I'm just happy I don't have to change his diaper anymore!

MT has been plugging away at school.  He's still got a year left of classes and then a couple more years of research after that.  I know what your thinking, is he ever going to get out of school?  The answer is maybe.  ha.  MT is really really really good at school.  Approximately 500% better than I am.  He likes it too.  It's weird to think he'll be 30 when we're finally done but he'll have a Bachelors of Science, Master of Science, and a PhD under his belt.  Hopefully all this school will lead to a fulfilling job.  MT really wants to make a difference in the world.  To help people.  And I think he will.

Kate is still probably the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on.  Something about her long thick hair and that sweet chubby face makes her irresistible.  She'd probably be even cuter if I knew how to do her hair but that is a work in progress.  I can just hear her when she's 15 and looking at baby pictures, "Mom, what were you doing with my hair?  Did you ever comb it?  Was I abandoned?"  And that's when I'll teach her that I was busy building her character instead of doing her hair.  Oh man, I just thought of that line!  I really gotta remember that one. 

Speaking of hair, I have grey ones.  And it's pretty noticeable when I pull my hair back.  I'm 24 people.  I've never dyed my hair and don't want to start now (no time, energy, or money).  I'm just going to ride it out for a while and maybe it'll go away.

We had Thanksgiving in Utah and Christmas in Arizona this year.  We are so lucky to have the family we do- my family and my in-laws.  Seriously, I love spending time with them.  Maybe living away from family for the past 5 years has been a positive thing.  I don't take those most important for granted.  It's been a wonderful year (probably because last year at this time I was working full time, in school, pregnant, and exhausted). 

There's a quick update.  Now I can go into 2014 not feeling guilty! Hallelujia - see, I spell it wrong every time!

Friday, September 20, 2013

My Grandpa Rogers

My grandpa passed away on Sunday.  Him and my grandma were/are the biggest influences on our family and by family I mean my immediate family and my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  Of course, there is the fact that none of us would be here with out them... but its more than that.    My sister dressed up as my grandpa for Halloween once.  My grandpa would go to the "fathers and sons" camping outing as much as he could.  He went to all the sports events- as long as he wasn't in the hospital.  He was a legend, legacy, and patriarch that touched his children, their children (me), and their children's (my) children.  I grew up looking up to this man and didn't realize until later in life that not everyone has that.  I feel blessed to have known him.  Now, I don't mean to improperly describe him here.  He was probably the most inappropriate and loudest piece of country you'd ever come across.  Over the past little bit, he had some pretty low times and we thought we'd lose him.  I firmly believe that was him messing with the family.  That's just his personality.  Hey, look guys, get sad because I'm gonna die.  Oh wait, a week later I'm back to walking around and yelling at referees.  It's just how he was... He loved it.  And I loved him for it.  

During one of the "low" times I wrote down some of my favorite memories of him.  I want to share them here.  ***There will be swearing.  Grandpa wouldn't have it any other way.

-I told my Grandpa I was dating Morgan.  He asked to see a picture.  He looked and the only thing he said was, "Oh shit"

-Per tradition, he brought a shotgun to our wedding, and told Morgan he'd better take care of me or he'd hunt him down

-He was always singing, "She's got a freckle on her butt, she's pretty.  I watched her ass she turned the corner."

-He'd often say, "you look like you've been drinking muddy water" Never quite sure what that actually meant

-He was always yelling at sports games.  Even if he couldn't see a damn thing he'd be yelling "Clabberhead, get your eyes checked!"

-Once he heard Morgan's last name- Pope- he's only referred to him as 'Ol Poke.

-During my games, when it was quiet, he'd yell, "Sadi my lady!"

-Most everyday, him and my grandma would pick me up from half day kindergarten and we'd go straight to Taco Bell.  I'd get 2 double deckers and pinto and cheese

-I once was complaining about how hard volleyball practice was, he simply said, "Why don't you come suck my titty little baby."  I was scarred for life and learned to not complain around him ever again.  

-I wasn't present for this, but one time, he accidentally threw his keys in the dumpster and went in after them- he was like 80 years old and it was blazing hot in Arizona.  He got stuck.  Bahaha.  Every time I think about it I start laughing so hard.

-He'd always tell us about how a long time ago, when Arizona was mostly under water, him and Buffalo Bill Cody rowed around in a boat and painted the tops of the mountains- that's why you see all the cool layered colors on the mountains.

Oh man, I can think of a million more stories about him.  

He was the richest man I ever knew.  No, not rich in money.  He has 5 children, 30 grandchildren, and 44 great-grandchildren.  Every single one of us knew that man.  He supported us, told us dirty jokes, and loved us better than any other dad, grandpa, and great grandpa ever could.  

I miss you.  Thank you for raising our family with God's influence.  You're faith and love has guided so many to love God.  And thank you for teaching us that we'll all be together again.

Oh, and I must spread the message he told everyone.  


Saturday, September 14, 2013

Just be nice! (said in a whiny voice)

This post has been on mind for a while now.  These thoughts started during the Mitt Romney vs Barack Obama Presidential Campaign, developed more during the Gay Marriage disputes, and are continuing to develop as I read more into the "Mommy Wars" (breastfeeding v formula fed, working v stay at home, organic living and eating v non organic living and eating, etc) and the Mormon feminist movement.

I have a confession...  I really, a lot of the time, hate freedom of speech.  Cue gasp from everyone.  My husband loves it (maybe because he's very good at expressing himself through words), me, not so much.  I, of course, enjoy expressing my thoughts, views, and opinions freely but don't do it quite as eloquently as I'd like.  And most of the time, I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts as well.  It is the responses to my opinions and other peoples opinions that makes me cringe.  Am I making sense?

Example time.  Here are two statements that are controversial in nature but are generally the honest opinion of actual people. *Note- these are not necessarily my opinions

1. God loves all people and people should be able to love one another without judgement in regards to sexuality.  What harm does two married men do to a heterosexual couple?  Let people love and be loved.

2. Many believe you should be who you are and not try to conform.  But life is about change.  Changing from a natural state to a state greater than we can even imagine; a state God wants us to live by.

Honestly, the above statements both interest me.  I would love to have conversations with people who hold either of those thoughts (I understand there are more arguments for both "sides" of this issue).  While they may not be politically correct or completely unbiased, they both present their thoughts in pretty respectful ways.  These next statements is where my, "I hate freedom of speech" comes from. *Note- these are not my opinions but are based on actual posts and articles and blogs I have read.

1. Seriously, it's just not natural to have two girls together.  If people were meant to be homosexual then why can't they naturally have babies?  The crap that goes on in today's society is just sick.

2. So much for the "Christian" lifestyle.  People are narrow minded idiots to not support gay marriage.  Did we not already jump this hurdle with the civil rights movement?

Do you see the difference?  I know it's in language and how it's presented but often people start with a for-the-most-part respectful phrase and then get pounded with responses and replies that are borderline abuse. 

Why does everything have to be about taking sides?  With the whole thing in Syria- Obama's like, "let's take responsibility and show them that's not acceptable" and I hear a lot of people saying, "what the heck? That's the dumbest possible thing you can do."  I wonder if Obama would have been like, "sadly, there's nothing we can do about the events in Syria" if more people would say, "Why the heck aren't you doing anything about what's going on in Syria?!?"

I understand having differences in opinions.  I'm not saying that everyone should accept each others beliefs.  What I'm saying is, WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE SO MEAN???  I get it.  These are real issues that go deep into peoples hearts.  I know it's so important for your baby to be breastfed and I know it's so important for you as a woman to be equal to a man but do we really gain that much by generalizing, calling names, being overly sarcastic, and all that other stuff? 

I've been wanting- so badly- to post my views on who our president should be, on what we should be feeding our babies, whether I think women should hold the priesthood or wear pants or not, etc.  But I can't.  I get sick when I think of the backlash I'd get from the public, my friends, and probably family (not everyone but some).  I'm not ashamed of my beliefs.  If you ask me face to face I'll be honest.  But the things people are willing to say on a computer screen are not things I enjoy reading.  In essence, I actually don't hate freedom of speech.  But I do wish people would stop, think, and then respectfully respond to each other.

And I'm sure I've said things in here that a lot of people disagree with.  Let me guess what you're thinking, "It's my right to say what I want so get over yourself, Sadi"  "You're a coward for not posting your beliefs.  Be a big girl and stand up for what you believe." "Hey, you generalized and excluded me because I'm respectful when I post my thoughts".  I get it.

We can argue about anything.  There was this Dove commercial that was supposedly promoting self beauty.  I saw many postings saying, "Watch this, everyone is beautiful" and then I read other blogs and articles about how the whole thing is ridiculous and and there a racial biases and they are focusing on the wrong kind of beauty.  It's a video put on by a soap company!  Why do we have to analyze the heck of it?  Why do we have to watch a commercial to realize how beautiful we are?  Blah.

Why do we have to make such a big deal of one person's thoughts? 

I guess in a way it's good.  All this controversy keeps me on my toes and thinking about what I really believe.  I just wish I wouldn't get that "I wish I didn't read all those comments after that post/article/blog" feeling.  I do LOVE it when I read an uplifting article/post/blog.  Maybe I should just stop reading people's comments.

If you get anything from this post- Just be nice.

Ok.  I'm done.  You can go on with your lives.

Let's lighten it up

I've been thinking about new inventions for mom's of small children:

-A shirt that has several layers so when you get spit up on you just peel the top layer off and voila- clean shirt.  Some of you ask well why don't you just have them spit up in a burp rag?  Reality check- you can have burp rags all over your flippin body and your baby WILL find a way to get it on what you're wearing.  You think I'm joking?  Go ask a mom, right now.  Some ask, well  why don't you just change your shirt?  Ain't no body got time for that.

-A shirt that has chew toys attached to the shoulders.  Right on top and going down the arm.  Kate is 8 months and when I hold her she still likes to chew on my shoulder/shirt.  It's genius.  Shirt for you, chew toy for baby.  Can you tell I have children spitting up on me and dirty shirts all the time?

-A heart rate monitor for children to wear all the time and portable device that tells the parents the rates.  That way, when Henry is up stairs and I'm down stairs busy doing dishes, my monitor starts beeping when his heart rate goes up because he's about to color his wall blue, his feet and legs blue, and his face and arms blue.  Better than a video monitor because you can keep track of them in all locations.  It also would beep when Kate's heart rate when down because Henry is smothering her with hugs and literally smothering her (this didn't actually happen, although I have no doubt it would if I left them together long enough- he means well).  Or would that make her heart rate go up?  Maybe it would go up first and then down?  I don't know.  Either way- genius invention.

-A mommy room.  You know how you have a living room and a kitchen and a bedroom?  How about a room just for mom.  It's got NOTHING in it.  No clutter, nothing to clean... maybe a bed.  No, then you'd have to make it.  Ok, it'd have a super huge big pillow to lay on and a TV showing only Walker Texas Ranger (or what ever her favorite show is) and all of that would be in a large vacuum so no dust would accumulate.  Alright, this one needs some work.

-microwaves with pre programmed meals.  "Man, I don't have stuff for lunch today," says mom.  (Walks over to microwave and presses button that reads PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH, CARROTS, AND APPLES).  Boom.  Lunch appears.  It could be called Meal Appear.  Quick Food.  Gimme Food.  Food Wave.  Super Food.  eh, idk. 

Anyway, that's about it.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Life with two kids.

The question I get most often lately is, "How is life with two kids?" or sometimes it is phrased like, "How are you surviving?" or something of that nature.  I answer differently every time because it literally changes every half hour.  20 minutes ago I had both kids at the car wash and we were playing and laughing and I would have answered that everything is great and I'm having so much fun.  Now we're back home and Henry just yelled "No!" at me for trying to get him to eat pancakes and I'm a little exhausted from a late night.  Therefore, he is not eating the pancakes I made but is watching sesame street while I stare at this computer screen (K is sleeping).  I'd answer now that having two kids has it's moments but mostly I'm just trying to keep JH and K alive.  I have a lot of thoughts as of late.

  • I wish money didn't exist and I could get everything I need/want when I need/want it (I think I've expressed this feeling before).
  • I feel like someone should re-invent the bra.  It's so uncomfortable to clip it in the back and this mamma needs some serious support.  When I workout I have to wear two.  Isn't there a firm comfortable fabric that that would allow me to run around without having my ladies hit me in the face?
  • It's been a hard 2 months for Henry and I.  He's been getting used to being a big brother and I've been getting used to being a mom of two.  This includes a lot of tantrums and a lot of me not knowing what to do.  Luckily, the last week or so has been pretty good.  I'm praying we're turning a corner because I love him so much and it's the worst to constantly be trying to persuade him to do things and not know if he'll flip out on me.  
  • I have really good kids.  When I complain about how hard a time I'm having, it's probably going a lot better than some people have it.  So, you have my permission to dismiss any complaining I do.
  • I really want to go back to Disneyland.  I love everything about Disney.  I'm reading books about Walt Disney.  He's not perfect but I love how he persevered and created an incredible company that inspires so much happiness.  Don't fight me on this.  If you don't like Disney/Disneyland you don't have a heart.  
  • I went to the grocery store without kids yesterday.  I never thought I could feel so free doing such an activity.
  • Sometimes I think to myself that one day, I'm going to have a maid so I don't feel crappy all the time for having a dirty house.  Other times, I think to myself that I'm never going to have someone else clean my house because that's just ridiculous.
  • Cars 2 sucks
  • Being on Facebook during this traditional vs. gay marriage thing is worse than being on Facebook during the presidential election. I wish people would just think before they respond to people's thoughts.
  • I really wanna get in shape.  So, I'm taking a running class every Tuesday and Thursday.
  • I ate two cookies today.
  • I wish people didn't have to move.  Making new friends is the worst.  Good thing my husband is delightful and social and so inspires me to be also.  
  • I really want to go back to Disneyland.
  • My daughter doesn't have a neck
Happy Thursday y'all.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The first 3 weeks

I've heard mixed reviews about Lucile Packard. Some people felt like if you don't have a baby with some sort of medical issue they kind of brush you aside while others felt their stay was pleasant. Luckily, my experience was the latter. Part of the reason may have been that I didn't have to share a room.
Us coming home.  I didn't realize how scared I was until I saw these 2 sitting in the back together. AHHHH! 

I was so set on just having this baby that I forgot about all that happens afterword.  Like having to wear a pad the size of Texas because you bleed for the next 2 weeks.  Or the contractions that come from your uterus getting smaller (it was worse this time than it was with Henry). 
Or the worst (warning, I go into detail about this so stop reading if the word nipple offends you), that I wasn't expecting this time- breastfeeding.  I knew I was going to do it, and that it was going to happen.  I just wasn't prepared for how painful it was going to be.  I didn't remember it being this bad with Henry.  She always eats and sucks really well (although, they did snip the extra skin under her tongue- while it was hard to watch it was surprisingly quick and after she ate it was like nothing had happened).  Regardless of her great eating style, my nipples were just not on the same page.  Holy smokes they hurt so bad.  I figured it would be bad the first couple days so I kind of just took it.  But about 3 days after it was beyond what I could handle.  I would dread any feeding (which was happening every 2-3 hours) because it meant my poor cracked and bleeding nipples would have to be cut off (it's a pretty accurate metaphor for what I was feeling).  I started to feel a very similar feeling I had with Henry- inadequacy.  But that word doesn't do it justice.  There is something so devastating about not being able to provide for your child.  Especially when you're hormonal, have just given birth, your breasts are beyond huge, and you're prideful like myself.  We went and talked to the doctor who suggested pumping for 24 hours to give me a break.  That's when I lost it.  Well, I made it to the car, where I had to breastfeed because she was hungry and crying but I broke down.  It just feels like if breastfeeding is so good for babies and women have been doing it for all of time then why was I sucking at this so badly?!?  I obviously was a stupid mother and I didn't know what the hell I was doing and I should just give up (these are not my thoughts now, but it's honestly how I felt then).  Really though, why couldn't I provide for my daughter just like every other woman does?  Why was I being such a wimp?  Those were my thoughts that left me crying that whole day and the next morning.
I took the doctor's advice, rented a really nice pump, and did it for 24 hours.  It hurt to pump but not as bad as Kate sucking on them.  I was putting warm compresses and ointment on them, leaving them open to let them heal.  I was still pretty discouraged just because they weren't feeling that much better.  After the 24 hours were up though, it was a little better.  It still hurt but not as bad.  And we slowly got to the place I am now.  She still eats every 2-3 hours and the initial latch is slightly uncomfortable but I can feed my daughter without crying and wincing in pain.  We have other issues such as her eating too fast or how often she wants to eat but we're in a lot better place than those first few days.  Did I mention we didn't have anyone here to help for the first couple of days?  That probably contributed to how down in the dumps I felt but we made it through and we're getting the hang of it!
Woah, that was serious.  Glad that's over.
She didn't like her first bath so much... Henry apparently did though.
 But she's a good sport :)
 And looked really cute afterwords!

 If you didn't see the pictures I posted on facebook- go look now.  This was just a little bit of what my husband put Kate though one day.  So funny :)

 We're so happy!!!  Here's a funny.  Yesterday I set Kate on the couch so I could go get a drink.  As I walked away she started screaming really loud and it didn't sound like her normal cry.  I ran back to her to see one of her hands flailing while the other was right by her head.  The hand by her head had grabbed a chunk of hair and the more it hurt the tighter she was holding on to the hair she was pulling.  I had to carefully unfold the white knuckle grip she had on her own hair.  Silly babies ;)
 The nice thing about pumping is that little brothers get to help feed!
 Anyway, we got a ton of help from my mother in law who came when she was a week old and stayed for a week.  It was a pretty nice gig.  I would feed Kate and then Jane would take her in the middle of the night until it was time for her to eat again.  I love sleep and I love Jane for how good she is at helping out.  Really, she always knows just what to do to make things better.  Plus, she took care of Henry, made awesome food, and made sure we were all taken care of.  Thank you Jane, your presence is sorely missed in this house!

Have I mentioned that Kate is a great baby?  Because she is amazing.  She eats and sleeps beautifully.  When she is awake she loves to look around and just likes to be held (as opposed to Henry who spent most of his waking hours screaming).

I am a very lucky woman with and incredible family.  MT is so good to get up in the middle of the night to be with Kate when she wants to be held.  He adores her with everything he has and smothers her with kisses.  Henry has gotten a little more sassy with me but I actually think it's more based on the fact that he can communicate his wishes to us now.  He LOVES Kate and always asks to hold her and also smothers her with kisses.  I've got a very good life people.  I don't quite know how I got so lucky but I thank God every day for how grateful I am to Him for having all that I do.

Ok, that was a lot of blogging.  Now time to go be a mom.  Peace out.

Epidural or no epidural?

Since I've now experienced giving birth with and without an epidural a lot of people have asked me which I prefer.  I say both.

With Henry, I was being induced.  The pain was severe early in labor and meant a lot of hours in lots of pain.  The epidural was the most heavenly sent gift of modern medicine that could have ever been created.  However, the time it took to get the epidural and the risks that are involved with sticking something in your spine are not ideal in my book.

With Kate, I was far enough along when the pain got intense that I needed a little time to relax and recuperate before the actual birth.  It was perfect because I got relief just before the most painful thing I've ever been through.

So, with the next one (which won't be happening for a while) I'm going to keep my options open.  However, I would highly recommend going into labor naturally.  It's much more exciting.

Baby Kate's Story

Most of you know that I'm a fairly straight to the point kind of person.  With that, this story may contain information that you, your husband, your kids, or your friend may not want to read.  So please take this as a warning that this post will contain words such as cramping, poop, bleeding, tears, etc. and will depict an actual birth.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Monday, January 21st (my due date)
My mom and sister had been visiting for the long weekend and were planning to leave the next day, Tuesday.  I was dilated to a 1 for two weeks and my doctor appointment on Friday the 18th showed I was dilated to a 2 (I give credit of my progress to Ali who came, walked with me, gave me a mani/pedi, did acupressure, and helped me eat pineapple).  Since my mom was planning to leave the next day, she suggested that I schedule a doctor appointment for that day so she could see if there was any significant progress (she was deciding if she should stay longer or not).

I got in to my doctor where she found the same results as Friday.  She stripped my membranes again and gave me labor vibes.  I had pretty much decided I was going to go 8 days late like I did with J Henry.  Around 1 in the afternoon my mom and I went on a brisk 20 minute walk to ColdStone and walked the 20 minutes back.  It's not easy walking that long at 9 months pregnant for those of you that don't know.

So, normal day right?  MT and I decided we'd go out to eat that night and then hang out with some friends because it may be a while before we got to do that again.  About 5:30, while sitting on the couch I started to feel some... feelings.  haha.  I don't know how to explain it.  The only reason I even thought twice about the feeling was that it felt slightly similar to when I was induced with JH.  It was just a little tightening but not painful.  Just kind of weird.  The tightening feeling would start and grow a little and then die out.  Sorry, those of you with kids probably are like- duh- but I'm trying to paint a good picture so I remember what happened.  The feelings were on average 5-7 minutes apart but again, not painful.

Since I wasn't in pain we went on with the night as planned.  Although, we decided if I really was in labor, having a really nice huge dinner wouldn't be the best thing to have in my stomach.  So, naturally, we went to McDonalds.  I'm kinda disappointed that we went there- it wasn't really that great.  Big surprise eh?  The "feelings' got pretty irregular when I would walk around but the longest I went between them was 7 minutes.

I should go through this quicker right?  Too many details.  Whatever.  This is a record for me- not you.  So just be patient. 

Then we headed to our friend's place where we watched a movie.  The Carr's introduced us to a really good film, or so I'm told.  I was there, and I watched it, but I was distracted by timing my "feelings" that I now decided were contractions because they were becoming increasingly painful.  On average, about 5 minutes apart.  But it wasn't really bad pain.  It was a little cramp that would build and then go away.  Anyway, all I really remember from the movie was a knife, funny cub scouts, Bruce Willis, and an awkward beach scene.  I want to watch it again so I can follow along better.  By the end, I was glad to be leaving.  It was getting a little more painful but still irregular.  The contractions would be coming every 5 minutes, then 3, then 7, then 5 again.  I was just confused because I wasn't in MAJOR pain but they were coming often and not at a definite interval.

We got in the car to go home and the contractions got painful.  It must have been the way I was sitting because MT started driving and all of a sudden it was very uncomfortable.  This was around 11pm.  I adjusted my seat to lay back and MT freaked out.  I guess he heard a pop and thought the baby popped out.  haha.  We laughed for a minute about that.

I was definitely in labor at this point.  I made MT time contractions because I was sick of only focusing on the pain.  When we got home I started getting my bag ready and making sure I had everything together because I figured at some point in the night we'd be heading to the hospital.  Around 11:30 I laid down to try and get some sleep.  ha.  I didn't get sleep but I "rested" for a good hour and a half.  MT read a book next to me, still timing contractions.  They were coming consistently 5 min apart and very painful.  I called the hospital to ask when I should come in.  Once I told them it was my second child they said to come in right then.

Tuesday, January 22nd

My mom, hubby, and I got dressed and started to head out the door.  My mom asked for some scissors to work on a project while we were hanging out in the hospital.  It took us a little bit to find them and she kept saying, "Never mind, I don't need them.  It's all good.  Don't worry about it."  But I didn't mind, it was a way to pass the time.  I'm not sure why that sticks out in my mind.  Weird.

We got to Lucile Packard Children's Hospital around 12:45.  When you go in you have to check in, get your picture taken, put an ID sticker on, take an elevator up, and walk inconveniently far to labor and delivery.  Who designed that?  I remember thinking I was glad I wasn't one of those women who deliver 2 seconds after they get to the hospital.  I would have killed the security guard for making me check-in.  Anyway, we made it to labor and delivery where they checked me- 4cm dilated and fully effaced.  I was pleased- I had this horrible thought that maybe it was false labor and I was still at a 2.  Because I was group B strep positive, I needed to get antibiotics so they admitted me.

Then the boring stuff happens.  I lay in the bed being monitored, having contractions every 4 minutes.  My mom did some stuff on the other side of the room (this is where I preferred her to be.  I like having my mom there but not all up in my biness).  MT sat close to me, holding my hand if it was a particularly bad contraction and working on a little bit of school I think.  I was allowed to walk around for certain periods of time which was nice.  The hubs and my mom fell asleep at one point so I started a movie.  It was with Drew Berry More and that guy from the Office about saving whales.  Once again, I can't remember much of it because it's hard to concentrate when a human is making their way out of your lady parts.

Around 4am I was having really bad contractions every 1-2 minutes.  I threw up at some point- I don't think that people know it's common to get sick in the later stages of labor.  MT was holding my hand constantly through this because it was so bad.  At one point, he reached with his other hand into his backpack and started eating oreos.  I let him eat about 3 before his chocolate cookie breath put me over the edge.  He reached down for the 4th one and I said in a very even and loving tone, "That's your last one."  He stopped. :)

I got checked and I was at a 7!  I was really impressed because when I felt that way with JH I was only at a 4 (that's the difference between induction and natural childbirth people).  I decided I wanted an epidural to get me through the end.  When I asked the nurse she convinced me to first try a drug that could be given though my IV since I was so close.  The benefits were that it could be given immediately and  I still had the option of an epidural if I didn't like it.  It didn't take the pain away but made me feel it differently. Now that I think about it, it was probably a medical way of getting me drunk (although I've never actually been drunk so I guess it's a long shot).  It was just weird.  Within a minute of her giving me the drug I felt dizzy and really funny but SUPER happy.  Really, it just made me feel so good.  It helped me sleep a little and I got to relax.  I remember having some really weird dreams.  I wanted to roll over and tell MT and my mom about them but then realized what I was dreaming was nonsense.  Whales were involved...  Anyway, the drug lasted for 45 minutes and I could get 3 doses.  So, the first one was amazing!  I got the second dose an hour later and it still felt good but I could feel the pain more than with the first dose so I didn't get much sleep.  And an hour after that I got the third dose.  Again, I still felt a whole lot better but was still feeling pain with the contractions.  I threw up at some point again.

The third dose wore off at around 8:15am.  I was feeling the contractions every minute.  And they were bad.  Like really bad.  Remember the tightening I said earlier?  It was that times 100 and then bad cramping from a period times 100.  Although, cramping isn't the right word for it at this point.  It was more like trying to poop a redwood tree out.  There was just so much pressure and I could feel her getting lower.  Oh man, just talking about it makes me hurt.  I got checked and I was at an 8 or 9 dilated and the doctor broke my water.  They said to let them know when I felt like I had to poop and then it'd be time to push.

The contractions were just so draining.  They were coming so quickly.  I just wanted it to be over.  And the whole poop thing- I pretty much felt like I had to poop the whole time so I kept telling the nurse and she was trying to convince me that I wasn't ready to push.  Looking back I think I kept telling her that because I thought she would come out quicker if I started pushing sooner.  It turns out the nurse was right to wait a little longer... but man it hurt.  I remember thinking REVERSE! REVERSE!  She needs to go back up because there's no way she's coming all the way out!  This is not happening!  Finally the pain and pressure got really low and I told the nurse I was ready to push.  She checked me and I was at a 10- finally!  It took the doctor like 10 minutes to get to me but at this point I'm like, whatever, I'm gonna die anyway.

The doctor gets to my room.  She says to push with the contractions and I think I was crying when I told her I didn't know when to push because it just hurt bad all the time.  It feels semi-good to push but also gets more painful.  Man, it's all just so weird.  But I pushed so hard because I knew I wasn't allowed to reverse like I so badly wanted.  There was one push that I'm pretty sure I was getting her shoulders out because it hurt soooooo bad.  But after that push- oh man, it was like the best feeling EVER!!!  Seriously, so much release and relief.  So much happiness.  So much not baby inside me.  So good.  Like after you've been holding your pee forever and then you finally get to go- that feeling times 100 (sorry for all the bathroom references, they just work really well in this scenario).

They gave her to me right after she came out (which didn't happen with Henry) and that was amazing.  I was barely even aware of my placenta being delivered.  And... dun duh daaaa... no tears or stitches or anything.  Kate Emily Pope, 7lbs 12oz.  I'll let the pictures do the talking now.

Don't worry, they are all appropriate :)

If you made it this far you're either super bored, you really love me, or you have an odd obsession with labor and delivery.  The first 3 weeks of life post coming soon.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Miner Webster

*This post is more for me to write down what I want to remember than to have others gain anything from it- but read if you like
In honor of coach Miner Webster's 700th win, I reflect on 3 things he did I will never forget.

His Ability to Make High School Ball a Life Lesson
I was never a star basketball player (except in jr. high- those were my glory days).  However, I always worked hard to try and be the best.  I had a weird jump shot that I'd adjust from time to time.  I started out as a point guard and by my sophomore/junior year I was a guard.  I wasn't on the starting line up all the time but I always got some playing time.  I was hit or miss when it came to pressure situations.  I had this thing against Dobson; every time we played them I'd choke and play my worst game ever.  After one particularly bad Dobson game I was so mad I didn't even want to show up for practice.  But I did, and shot free throws quietly by myself before practice started.  Webster came up to me and I almost immediately had to hold tears back.  You have to know that Webster wasn't a buddy-buddy talk all the time coach.  If he took you aside, it was because something needed to be said.  He asked me what I did best for the team (it was my senior year and my basketball skills seemed to be getting worse with time, although I was a co-captain).  I didn't know what to say, so I said passing the ball because then I didn't have the ball so much.  He laughed a little and told me that I wasn't on the team because of my skills.  I was there because I was a leader.  And being a leader wasn't about having the best skills or scoring all the points, it was about working hard, setting a good example, and cheering when I was on the bench.  This may have been just a pep talk but it was a bigger deal to me.  My self-esteem was on a negative scale and Webster not only brought it back up but also taught me a valuable life lesson.  We're always trying to be the best this or the best of that when actually being the "best" isn't always what it's about. 

His Temper
Webster has a pretty quick temper when his expectations are not met.  However, he usually displays his anger in 3 ways. 
1. Red face
2. Pacing
3. Saying phrases such as "Holy Mackerel" or "Gee Golly" while shaking his head
After 4 years of playing basketball for this man, I can only recall two occasions when his anger got the best of him.
One game, we played against Mountain Ridge (I'm actually not sure if that was the exact team name but it's a good guess because half of the high school teams in AZ have the word mountain or ridge in their title).  They were a less skilled team so we should have been killing them but at halftime, we were only up by 10.  We all knew we were in trouble sitting in the locker room.  He came in, pacing back and forth with his red face, and out of nowhere kicked the water bottle holder and it shattered sending little pieces of plastic flying towards me and the bench I was sitting on. 
 Another time, at a tournament in Vegas he was talking to us after the game and slammed his clipboard on the floor (we were all sitting on the floor and he was squatting so the clipboard was only about a foot off the ground) but it broke.
On both occasions he apologized for his behavior afterwords.  I always found it funny that he was this way.  A legendary coach apologizing for getting mad.  I don't know, the way he handled himself was in a way that told us it wasn't us as people he was angry with, it was that we weren't fulfilling our potential.

His Expectation for Excellence
Everyone who has played for Webster knows what P.R.I.D.E. stands for because we said it as a team after every single practice- no exceptions.
Re-read that over until it hits.  Perfection requires intense daily effort.  That's what Miner expected on and off the court and made it clear by setting standards.  I played that 2005-2006 season.  The one that had 10 losses, the most losses he's ever had in a season.  We had a lot of talent that year and with that talent was a lot of drama.  That year probably made him want to quit and move somewhere he'd never have to interact with a high school girl again.  But he did his best, trying a variety of different tactics (making us run practice on our own since we weren't listening to him, taking us to the movie Glory Road to teach us how to unite).  Sometimes, it meant sitting the more talented players and letting the other players show their potential.  I remember the disappointment throughout that whole season.  I don't think Webster ever gave up.  He kept trying to turn it around and make us see that we were better than what we were doing.  Sadly, we didn't live up to his expectations.  But you know, I think it says a lot that regardless of who his next team is, he is always working towards a state championship.  I would rather play for a coach that expects the best and is disappointed than for a coach that expects the worst and is pleased.

So, here's to Miner Webster, for making such a big difference in my life.  People have been asking him for his "secret" for years.  He always says "good kids" or that there isn't one but I think there is one; it's just not complicated.  Expectations, Consistency, and P.R.I.D.E

Monday, January 7, 2013

A little bit of catch up

What's the cure to a super uncomfortable pregnancy (yes, I will complain about how uncomfortable I am until this little girl decides to come on out)?  Vacation.  We went to Logan, UT and spent Christmas with the in-laws.  I laid on the couch for probably 60 to 70 percent of the trip.  Henry probably spent that same amount of time playing/begging to play in the snow (pronounced 'no' by the kid himself- still working on the whole s sound at the beginning of words thing).  MT spent most of the time reading or having sarcastic and illogical arguments with his siblings.  Really though, it was so nice to be around family, relax, and celebrate Jesus' birthday :)

The second day we were there my hubby and MIL surprised me with a graduation/graduation party.  I won't be able to attend the actual ceremony in February with the new addition so they threw me my own!  MT was the keynote speaker, I wore a robe and hat, they played music as I walked in, and even gave me a close to real diploma (the real one is now hanging my bedroom thankyouverymuch).  Best of all, almost my whole family came up from AZ and spend the day with me.  I had NO CLUE they were coming.  I opened the door and saw all 6 of them standing there and I cried like a baby.  It was just good to see them since I didn't get to be with them on Christmas.  Best surprise ever- Thanks to the hubby and MIL.

We're back now, back to real life.  But you know what?  It's not bad.  I'm having a good time getting ready for this little girl to come.  I'm having a good time not worrying about what I need to do for school.  I'm having a good time being a mom.  2012 was probably one of the hardest/busiest years of my life.  I know I made it hard on some other people too.  But I'm turning my hard work/selfishness/ busyness into something great for 2013.  I'm going to be a better wife and mother by being more relaxed, taking advantage of the moments that matter most, and focusing on growing spiritually instead of temporally.  Just thought you all should know my 2013 vision.

Baby update: She's healthy and really strong despite the 2-vessel cord and elevated amniotic fluid (which was back to normal levels as of last week!!!).  They've been monitoring us a lot more but I really feel like she's the strongest little girl.  She's always kicking and moving and I'm so grateful for that.   With all my complaining, I hope it doesn't make me sound ungrateful.  I know a lot of people right now that want to or are trying to have a baby but can't.  And other people who have had tragic things happen to their babies.  I am so humbled by God's plan for me.  I just hope I use my circumstances the way he wants me to.

Henry update: He loves to fight like Buzz light year by shooting the laser from his arm accompanied by a phrase that sounds a lot like "die mom" or "die dad" or "die whatever I'm shooting at".  We try to enforce the phrase "watch out mom" or "watch out dad" for obvious reasons.  He's gotten really good at communicating his thoughts and observations.  "Light" to point out sources of light, green (pretty much his favorite color), wet, cold, sad, crying, etc.  He just likes to talk about things that he sees and I love it.  Although, we still can't get all the words he's saying... and that's the worst.  He must have an intuition that another baby is coming along because he's been very attached and emotional these past couple of weeks.  I'm a little worried. 

Alright, I think we're good.  I just wanted to catch up a little bit before our little girl gets here.  Here's to 2 more weeks (hopefully she's nicer than Henry and comes on or before her due date?!?).