If I'm being honest with you, I'm not scared to have this baby. I know when I start feeling contractions again I'll have a freak out moment of "why would I put myself through this pain AGAIN". But that kind of pain is temporary.
I am scared to have 3 kids. As I near the end of this pregnancy, I'm realizing just how many shortcomings I have as a mother. A lot of it, right now, has to do with how tired I am and how pathetic I feel. But I'm going to be even more tired and more pathetic when this little guy gets here. HOW IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO RAISE 3 KIDS?!? I grew up in a family of 6 kids... and I'm pretty sure my mom is either a wizard or has an identical twin sister. HOW IN THE WORLD DID SHE DO IT?!?
I'm scared out of my mind but so excited. We really felt like it was a good time to have another kid. And I think Henry and Kate will bond even more with the arrival of this baby. So, even though I cringe at the thought of more sleepless nights, those painful weeks of breastfeeding, diaper change after diaper change, and recovering from childbirth, I know it is going to be ok. I am so lucky to be able to have 3 kids. I can do it. I can do hard things. With the help of family, friends, and of course my Heavenly Father and Savior.
For those of you that don't know, I'm in Arizona and I'm going to have the baby here (We're renting out our place in Cali). It's nice to be surrounded by family, especially during the holidays. There are some really nice perks when your husband is a student (4 week winter break!). I'm due the 21st of December. That means I have 10 days left. But if you know my children... they like my womb. So, I'm just planning on having this kid in 3 weeks.
We spent Thanksgiving in Utah with the in-laws. It snowed! We love the snow. It was so nice to see family, catch up, and get some date time with the hubby.
Just thought I should write a little bit before I take the plunge into the 3 kid club. Please pray for me! Heaven knows I'm going to need it. I'll post pictures when it happens :)