Thursday, October 27, 2016

Watching your kids grow up is real, y'all.

 Watching your kids grow up is real, y'all. 

Henry had karate yesterday.  During warm-up they were supposed to be circling their legs in, but Henry was circling them out (not realizing he was doing it wrong).  The teacher went to Henry and showed him the right way... it took him a while to figure it out.  Eventually he did.  Yay.  But then it was time to circle your legs out and the teacher asked Henry to demonstrate because he had just been doing it that way.  Well, he was stuck on circling his legs in because he had just been corrected and couldn't get himself to switch back to what he was doing originally.  I saw his face.  I knew he was getting frustrated because he had a strained smile and was getting red in the face.  He was then sent back in line and someone else showed how to do it.

My heart ached watching him when he got back in line.  He was taking deep breaths and holding back tears.  He kept wiping his eyes and even whimpering a little.  The teacher didn't notice (which is fine, I think it was better that way) but he looked at me.  I wanted to call him over and hold him and give him a hug.  I wanted to tell him that it was all right.  That I knew he could do it and that it was confusing and he shouldn't feel bad about it.

Instead I just gave him a thumbs up and the most confident "you are alright" face I could.  He did the rest of the class like a rock star.  I'm so proud of that boy.  He was embarrassed, confused, and flustered in front of his class.  But he kept going.  He did great.  He didn't even need me.  It's like he's already left for college and I'm never going to see him again.  My heart is so proud of him and sad that he's growing up.  

Saturday, October 22, 2016


Did California Adventure today.  I wasn't sure because it's almost Halloween and on a Saturday it was gonna be packed.  Morgan convinced me though and we got out the door at 7:30am.  It was so great.  The Animation Studio in Hollywoodland is becoming one of my favorite places in the park.  There are huge screens on the wall that are playing classic and new Disney clips.  There is an art class every 30 minutes and they teach you how to draw Disney characters (today we did Mickey and Goofy).  There's Turtle Talk with Crush and it's pretty impressive how they make the turtle interact with kids.  It's just a hidden gem and I love it.

Thoughts from today.
-Never wait in line longer than 20 minutes (unless it's the Midway Mania ride).  It's not worth it.  Get fast passes and play it smart.
-Take it easy.  We're here for 2 years!  Don't miss the little things.  Let the kids run around a bit (something you can't easily do a Disneyland because of lack of space).
-No matter how much food you bring to the park... you're always going to want that churro.  It's just something that's going to happen.

Grateful for a husband that makes me get out of the house and make memories.  I loved today.


We've been in Burbank for almost 3 months now.  I still feel like we aren't quite settled, like we haven't quite hit our groove.  Maybe that's because I've decided I want to be more clean and organized but I'm naturally not a very tidy or organized person.  My battles are constantly with how dirty my house is (we've only been here for 3 months! How is it possible that the walls are dirty already?!?).  One morning I'll make the kids brush their teeth and do their hair before we leave the house and the next 3 mornings I'm throwing them out of the door to get Henry to school on time without any mention of dental hygiene.  Some evenings I've prepped dinner at noon and I've got a masterpiece waiting on the table as the hubs comes home from work.  More evenings I throw the kids at him as he walks in the door while I try to cook a meal in 15 minutes because it's already 6:30 and everyone is starving and it's just too hard to get water boiling when you're the only adult in the house with 3 monkeys hanging off you.

I use the term "throwing" my kids not literally.  In my head I want to literally throw them.  But I don't.  Just so you know.

MT loves the job.  And for some reason that's making a big difference for me.  During school he would often have to meet deadlines and stay in late working on projects or papers that he dreaded.  It always bummed me out.  Now that he's doing something he loves, learning, and making great connections I feel less mad when he's gone late.  Maybe it's just because it's a new situation.  Maybe 6 months down the road it'll be much harder when he's gone so much.  Or maybe it's because it's Disney.  If he was working for some other company I may be less inclined to let them work my husband for so long.  Maybe... but for now, its feelin good.

JH has started kindergarten and karate and is almost 6. He's learning to read.  He loves karate and it's helping him grow mentally and physically.  It's so fun to watch him.  I don't have him all the way figured out yet.  Sometimes, he is outgoing, talkative, and excited about everything.  Other times he's quite, reserved, and nervous about those around him.  I'm sure it's just him figuring out who he is but I wish he could always be confident in who he is and his abilities.  He often gets caught up in being the best or winning and all I want is for him to know how great I think he is.

KE is her own woman.  We enrolled her in a dance class to give her something to look forward to with all the changes.  She LOVES it.  She spends most of her days dressing up as a ballerina, making beds and carriages for babies, and watching netflix.  Not really my cup of tea but she's strong, opinionated, and likes food so we've got that to bond over.  I'm hoping maybe she'll try out karate or soccer when the time comes.  She is kind, thoughtful, and so creative.  I can't wait to see what she becomes.  I've got her figured out though.  All you have to do is compliment her and she'll do what you want... I'll need to alter her thinking at some point... but I'm too tired right now.  There's too much going on.  Maybe next month.

SR is officially running for baby of the family (not that he needs to).  The first 10 months of his life I spent most of my time explaining to people that he is the BEST baby ever.  I've had two other kids so I know.  But ever since he learned how to walk... I don't know how to finish this sentence.  I think he wants to kill me.  He is always running, throwing, jumping, ripping, hitting, retaliating, breaking, falling, smashing, screaming, crying, yelling, tackling, pushing, kicking, destroying... and I feel like I could go on but you get the point.  It's exhausting.  "Bippo" for hippo. "ouse" for micky mouse. "gulp gulp" for milk.  "BeeBee" for blanket.  "Are ers" for Star Wars.  He's also in the learning words phase so he wants to be understood but how am I supposed to know that grunting means he wants to watch Zootopia.  How am I supposed to know that "meer" means come here right now or I might lose my mind!  And even as I write the longest paragraph in this post about the difficulty of raising this kid... I can still say he is the sweetest kid I've ever met.  He often tries to feed his toys food.  He's my snuggle kid (and my other kids would hardly touch me at this age).  He runs to me if he get scared.  He smiles the most genuine smile to anyone he meets.  Waves to the garbage trucks that are constantly going up our street (seriously, it's like, every day).  I just love him so much.  I just also really want him to learn English and to stop giving me an ulcer.  

I don't know how to write the paragraph about me.  I'm tired.  I'm happy.  I love our new apartment.  It's old and squeaky and small but it's where I spend my days.  I've got the walls filled with pictures of fun times.  I signed up with the YMCA because they'll watch my kids for 2 hours while I work out.  I never work out for 2 hours but the thought of being able to is nice.  I'm trying to lose 3 babies worth of weight.  Starting with drinking more water, working out 5 days a week, eating smaller portions, and not eating past 8pm.  It's been a week... and I weigh the same.  So, that's going super great.  I guess I feel better though... so that's good, right?  right?  I need to find me here in Burbank.  At Stanford I had volleyball, part time jobs, and lots of friends.  I'll find me... it just might take a minute.

We have Disneyland.  And really, it is amazing to be able to go there.  We're finding the gems.  We're learning about the real detail that goes into the Disney name.  I feel happy when we are there... so we go often.  

My thoughts turned into a report unexpectedly... but at least I got something down.