Wednesday, April 5, 2017

My life

Henry had spring break a few weeks ago.  MT is saving up time off for the big holidays so I decided to take the kids to Arizona to visit family on my own.

It was great!  The drive there went relatively smooth for having 3 monkeys and 1 semi-adult in the car.  When we got there the kids played with their cousins all day long and it was magical.  Then we drove home.  It was a bit more of a struggle on the way back.  Sam screamed for an hour because he was hungry (even though we had just eaten).  At our second stop Sam ran away from me so I had to hold him which meant he was screaming again... in public.  Third stop went well because ice cream was involved.  It was getting late so we put pj's on and I was ready to finish the 2 hour drive and be home.  20 minutes later Sam throws up all over himself.  I stop, get him cleaned up, and keep driving in the barf scented car while they all sleep.

We get home at 10:30 and unload the kids/ luggage.  At 11pm I'm on my hands and knees in the car wiping kid puke off the seats.  I hear a door open behind me and a woman, probably around my age or possible slightly older, walks past in a tiny black cocktail dress, high stiletto shoes, and a small handbag that just rounds out the look perfectly.  She was clearly going out.

It was a bit of an epiphany moment for me.  What different lives me an this woman have.  I'm cleaning a 2 year olds vomit out of my van and she was about to have a night on the town in her Prius.

The interesting part of this is that I should have probably felt jealous, or thought about the days when I could go out whenever I wanted.  But I didn't.  I just felt wonder and amazement for my life.  I spent a lot of that week packing snack bags, wiping butts, making lunches, washing faces, and wiping boogers.  It was such a good week and it filled me with strength to be around family.  Sometimes being a mom is hard and thankless and unfulfilling.  But at the moment, after a great week with my kids and finally home to my husband, I was so glad to be where I was at.

I sure hope that woman had a good night out with friends.  Because I sure was happy to be home and wiping bodily fluids from the car.  I am proud of who I am.  I may not have a career, or crazy nights out but that's ok.  I've got a family.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Heaven Help Me

Took the kids to the dentist today.  The dentist/office was WONDERFUL. 
Sam's teeth- great (attitude, not so much)
Kate's teeth- awesome
Henry's teeth- loose filling, needs a tooth extracted, and 6 other cavities

How did this happen???  We brush teeth at night.  That's about it.  So... I guess that's how it happened.  But why does one kid have a mouth of doom and the other is perfectly fine?  If anything, Kate eats more sweets and brushes less effectively.  uuuuuuugggggghhhhhh.

Another important point, is that I've heard of 4 year olds getting teeth pulled and I'm like, really?  Do you never brush their teeth?  Are you giving them soda for breakfast???  Come on, get it together, parent.  Take care of your kid. 

And here I am, on the other side of the fence feeling like crap.  Why do I never learn my lesson?  As soon as I have a judgy thought about someone (usually involving parenting) I am put in the same circumstance very soon after.  I've come up with a sequence of what to do in future situations:

1. It's important to evaluate yours/others situations to learn lessons
2. Those evaluations should not include thoughts of scorn or superiority
3. Instead they should be open minded and with the intention to help
4. If thoughts of scorn or superiority do persist, try number 3

It's easy for me to be kind outwardly.  I'm not going to tell an adult how to parent their child.  Now it's time for my mind and heart to change as well... because that matters too, if not more.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

You know those questions that ask, "Would you rather have a few best friends or 100 normal friends?"  Or "Are you the type of person to have many acquaintances or a few confidants?" 

Are there people out there that pick the big group of sort-of friends over the few real friends?  Because 100% of the time I'd rather be with a few people I enjoy instead of the opposite.  I've realized the truth of this since moving in August.  We've been here almost 7 months.  Through church I've met a lot of people.  Then there are the people at school and karate and dance class and the ymca...

I find getting to know people very difficult.  You have the same conversation over and over.  What's your name? How long have you been here? Where are you from? What's your name again?  Do you like it?  You have how many kids?  How old are you?  One more time, what's your name?  etc. etc. etc...

I understand this phase is important to get to the point where you can have meaningful conversations and relationships but it's SO PAINFUL.  And, I already like the friends/family I have.  Why do I have to make an effort to get to know people locally?  It's too hard!

This is my current mood.  I was just in Utah with my in-laws in Utah and I got to talk to adults about real things.  Like hardships, learning experiences, the church, and childhood memories.  I love real conversations... and I get them with MT a lot but I pretty much know everything about him already ;) 

Here's to getting to know people.  May it be quick and painless!